She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
