Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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