that's an acceptable place to lick
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
