my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
