Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
