making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just high enough for therapy.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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