we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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