So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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