can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
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