carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
