Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize