Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
