I cockslap morals
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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