the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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