White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
