physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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