strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
