Screwed.edu
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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