Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
