your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
okay pat passed out under dana's car
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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