once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
God, I missed his penis.
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