Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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