He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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