she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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