it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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