There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
