I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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