I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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