They should really pass out barf bags in church
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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