Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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