I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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