thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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