Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
