She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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