That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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