Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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