you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
