On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can I color on your dick again?
I can't put those talents on a resume
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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