I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
