he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
