My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
