We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
