sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
