THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
