just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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