those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
