i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
