What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
