got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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