she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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