Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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