I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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